


There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered, Honey (you just haven't thought of it yet)

by GaryTheFish



Series: Hope is a Four Letter Word [28]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Loki - Canon Divergence, People Skills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-27 00:06:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7595602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaryTheFish/pseuds/GaryTheFish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony throws a party, and Loki meets some of Thor's friends. (Hint: He's not <i>that</i> impressed.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered, Honey (you just haven't thought of it yet)

_Loki straightens his tie, smoothing the knot as he sits down next to Aeslin. Rhodes has spirited Thor away to try to find him some appropriate clothing for the evening; his build is too different to borrow anything from Loki. He’s been unable to for centuries, though their personal styles diverged long before that, and Thor looks awful in Loki’s colors in any case. Loki adjusts his cufflinks, then drapes an arm along the back of Aeslin’s chair._

_Tony shoves his phone into the inner pocket of his jacket as he leans toward them. “Last minute assignments,” he says, “but before I get started, how are you guys doing? Good enough to be on your own?”_

_“I’m not sure what you mean,” Aeslin replies, and Loki’s eyes are drawn like magnets to a glimpse of pale skin as she crosses her legs. Green is still her best color, but he now has a very compelling case for midnight blue. He watches as she automatically adjusts her dress to hide the network of marks on her knee, and then Loki knocks the fabric away with one casual movement, covering her scars with his hand instead. There is a time and a place to be cagey, to keep his hands to himself, and perhaps this should be one of those times, but it is only the three of them; Stark has seen worse than this and never said a word, so Loki repays her smirk with most of an innocent grin before turning back to Stark. Tony has clearly noticed the whole exchange and seems to be ineffectively hiding a smile as he resumes his instructions._

_“Well, I hate to break up the band, but I’ve got a cunning plan, and it involves the two of you being split for almost the entire night. Think you can manage that?”_

_A lazy grin. “If we must.”_

_“Good,” returns Tony, “because I’ve got jobs for both of you.” He points to Loki first. “Receptions like this are always a treasure trove. Tons of sciency types roaming around, and every single one of them has a project or a dream or knows someone who does. Normally I do the trolling myself, but having a second pair of eyes and ears never hurts. Rhodey would do it, if he could, but since he technically works for the government, it’s kind of a conflict of interest. That’s where you come in. I generally end up with at least three hires from one of these things, or at the very least a few new projects to fund. You’re versed enough now that you should know when I’d bite and when I wouldn’t, so I want you to mingle. Drop some hints. Collect some business cards. Figure out who I’d fund, who I’d hire, who I’d avoid like the plague. Make a game of it if you get too bored, but get me enough names to make it worthwhile. After that, you’re on your own.”_

_“Wed, bed or behead,” he replies with a nod. “Sounds easy enough.”_

_Stark stops for a second. “Wait. You play that?”_

_Loki chuckles. “Come now, Tony._ Every _one plays that; I don’t care_ what _realm you’re from. We just call it something different.”_

 _“You,” Tony moves on with a smile, pointing to Aeslin, “are on Bruce duty. Bruty. He agreed to come to the reception, which shocked the_ hell _out of me, quite frankly, but I think he’s going to need some backup. I’d like you to help him do people-type things, give him a buffer zone and a way out if things get weird. Be his buddy. His plus one. Nothing fancy. Just a Brooty call, as it were.” He smiles a little at the quip, looking between the two of them hopefully._

_“Joke about that again,” Loki tells him with a matching smile, “and I’ll kill you in your sleep.”_

_Tony clears his throat as he stands. “Noted. Shall we?”_

_***_

_The reception is in one of the ballrooms scattered throughout Stark Mansion; even as simply decorated as it and the surrounding areas are, it is a far cry from the conference rooms and accommodations the attendees are clearly used to. Thor, Rhodes and the others have gone ahead, but Loki lingers in the hallways, taking the longest route he can find as they try to determine how the evening will go._

_“Rhodey’s going to find you,” she observes as they make their way toward the chatter and music. “You know he is.”_

_He keeps a solicitous hand on her back as he steers her around the crowds, stroking his thumb across her spine with the half-suppressed grin he always has when he thinks he’s getting away with something. “He generally does,” he replies. “I make certain of that.”_

_“He’s a great guy,” she admits, “and I love him to pieces, but I’m sure you must have heard all of his stories at least twice by now.”_

_“More than that,” he agrees, “and I’ll hear them again tonight. Perhaps there will be something new, and perhaps there won’t, but I’ll listen nonetheless.”_

_“Why? None of the others do.”_

_A gentle chuckle as the ballroom doors open. He leans toward her, lips near her ear to be heard over the music. “You’ve just answered your own question.”_

_She is a little perplexed, and it must show in her face, because he guides her toward a semi-quiet corner. “James is a brave man,” he says. “A good man. A skilled man. A man who does his best, but a man who spends his life within the shadow of another. He is the man of iron’s little brother, and no matter what he does, it will never be enough, because there is always one who has done it sooner and better. I know who he is. I know how he thinks. I know what it is to be where he is, and so I listen to his stories. Every single one, every single time, and I am glad to do it.” He gives her a kiss on the temple, almost too brief to notice._

_“Banner’s over there,” he tells her with a soft pressure on the small of her back, “and he already looks in need of rescuing. Off you go, love.” With that, he is gone, charming his way through the crowd as though it’s the easiest thing in the world, which, to him, it probably is._

***

Bruce kept Aeslin’s hand tucked firmly under his arm as they worked their way through the crowd. He smiled and nodded, and they meandered around the larger groups as best they could. They were frequently stopped by one scientist or another, and Bruce would chat and laugh for a few minutes before putting a firm, gentle pressure on Aeslin’s fingers, the sign to move on as discreetly as they could.

“Thanks for hanging out with me,” he said during a brief lull; they had taken the opportunity to find a seat at the bar and were now perched on stools, watching the crowds eddy and part.

She grinned. “It’s not exactly a chore, Bruce,” Aeslin replied. “I’m having a pretty good time, believe it or not.”

He laughed a little self-consciously. “Serves me right, I guess. I should never have let Tony talk me into that guest presenter spot. I didn’t even have a decent PowerPoint.”

A shrug as another set of physicists strolled by, and Aeslin watched as they stopped to shower Bruce with accolades. He chuckled and nodded appropriately as they talked, and Aeslin busied herself with her drink. “Doesn’t seem like it matters,” she replied easily as the group moved on. “You’re basically a rock star to these people, Bruce. Might as well get used to it.”

Bruce scoffed gently into his own drink as he turned back to the bar. They were interrupted by a young woman coming up to the counter and signaling the bartender.

“Hey, Doctor Banner,” she said with a wide smile as she waited for the young man to take her drink order. “Who’s your friend?” She leaned past and surveyed Aeslin critically for a brief moment. “Wait. I know you. Where do I know you from?”

Aeslin opened her mouth to reply, but the young woman cut her off. “Oh! Duh.” She gestured to Banner. “Should have recognized a fellow scientist wrangler. We must have run into each other in one of the coffee lines. I’m Darcy, in case you don’t remember. I like your shoes. How do you afford them? Do you actually get paid and everything? I don’t think I’ve been paid in months.” She rapidly gave her order to the barkeep, then turned back. “Intern, you know. Thank Sagan for open bars, am I right?”

“Doctor Kindle,” Bruce said into the silence, draping an arm around Aeslin’s shoulders in a smooth movement, “is actually a colleague of mine. Epidemiology, among other things. Quite a dear friend; we’ve known each other for years. We’ve both done work for SHIELD every now and then.”

“SHIELD,” Darcy said wisely, toying with the swizzle stick in her drink. “I’m surprised there aren’t more of you around here, what with what’s been going on. Met a guy from SHIELD once. Nice guy, I guess, even if he did steal my iPod. What was his name? Coleman? Cameron?”

“ _Coulson_ ,” Aeslin managed after a second, and Bruce tightened his arm around her, whether in comfort or warning, he wasn’t sure. Her voice was calm and betrayed nothing. “His name was Coulson.”

“ _That’s_ it,” Darcy said, sliding a cherry off the stick. “Thanks. I’m kind of bad with names sometimes. So if you two are here, and Stark’s here, and Thor’s here, is he lurking around here somewhere too? Should I be hiding my electronics?”

Bruce gently nudged Aeslin as he stood, pulling her up with him. “He’s… not with the organization anymore. C’mon, Doc. I think they’re playing our song.”

***

Loki tucked three more business cards into his pocket as he idly watched the couples swirling around the sectioned-off dance floor, catching sight of Banner and Aeslin as they went by. Banner’s movements were deliberate and careful, his lips moving as he went through the steps. As the physicist passed closer, Loki thought he heard the words: a gentle “One, two, breathe, one, two, breathe” near Aeslin’s ear, and Loki’s brow went up in the second before Thor’s hand came down on his shoulder. He glanced over.

“You’re looking presentable,” he told Thor, taking in the Midgardian clothing he wore. “Rhodes did an excellent job. Where’s your woman?”

Thor watched the dancers with him. “She and Erik are still at a… Q and A, I believe they said. The final one of the conference. If she’s there past eight, I’m to send help. Or at least snacks.”

Loki grinned. “What, you’re not going to rush to her rescue? Drop an Einstein-Rosen-Foster bridge right into the middle of a pack of astrophysicists? Scoop her up and into the cosmos, fulfilling _literally_ every one of her childhood fantasies _and_ theirs in one brilliant maneuver?”

Thor made a show of thinking. “Last time I took a mortal into the bridge, there were some _quite_ unexpected developments. I’m not sure I’m prepared to do that again. I _am_ , however, sure that sending a bridge into a room full of magicians like Jane would create more problems than it would solutions. I think perhaps a more… traditional rescue might be the better path.”

“Why, Thor,” Loki said, not unkindly. “Is that wisdom I’m hearing from you?”

“Perhaps,” replied his brother with a grin, “but I beg you not to judge too hastily. I have a reputation to uphold, as you well know.”

Loki smirked as he pulled his phone from his pocket. “Eight, you said?”

“Aye.”

He tucked it back. “Close enough to count. Come on; I’ll ask Aeslin if we can borrow her car. We’ll just need to grab Parker and the keys, and then we’ll go and fetch her ourselves.”

Thor followed, face curious. “Why do we need Parker?”

A shrug. “Well, I’ve only got my permit. I need to have another adult in the car if I plan to be the one behind the wheel, and oddly enough, I’m not sure in this case that you’d count.”

***

Darcy Lewis was tenacious; Aeslin wanted to feel bad for her, stuck in a room with a bunch of scientists she barely knew, but couldn’t actually manage to do so. As soon as the song had finished and Aeslin’s breathing had gone back to its normal speed thanks to Bruce’s input, they had found a table near the edge of the dance floor. Darcy had found them in turn, mere moments later, flopping down with another drink and a small plate of hors d'oeuvres. It appeared the devil she knew was preferable to making more acquaintances, and Aeslin didn’t blame her.

Aeslin managed to keep up with the conversation; as it was largely one-sided, it was rather easy to do. She was a bit thrown off, however, when Darcy looked past her with a low whistle.

“Helloooo, nurse,” she said just a little too loudly as she straightened in her chair; Bruce turned around to see, and Aeslin heard his resigned “Oh, Lord” in the second before she caught a subtle whiff of Parker’s cologne.

“Thor,” the other woman practically purred. “Who’s your friend?”

“May I present Joshua Parker,” Thor replied with a kind gesture. “We’ve only just met, but he seems a very pleasant young man.”

“Hi,” Parker said, raising a hand halfway before Darcy gave him a polite smile that grew brighter as it was aimed somewhere to Thor’s left.

“Meant your _other_ one,” she clarified.

Parker’s brow went up knowingly, and he glanced at Aeslin for a second before Loki spoke up. “Loki Laufeyson and how do you do,” he said off-handedly, then also turned to Aeslin, the ghost of a smile hovering around his eyes as he read the situation in a fraction of a second. He blithely ignored Darcy’s pointed look at Thor, her “ _the_ Loki?” stage whisper, and the too-interested grin she got at Thor’s nod.

“I actually just came by to see if we could borrow your Jeep,” he said. “Thor wants to go rescue Erik and what’s-her-face, and I told him we could make an adventure of it.”

Darcy spoke up, her voice a little piqued. “Her _name_ ,” she said clearly, “is _Doctor_ Jane Foster, thank you very much.”

Loki turned to her with half a smirk. “What, they don’t have pet names where you come from?”

The intern’s lip twitched in response, seemingly of its own accord. “That’s not exactly a pet name,” she said, her voice somehow managing to be cute and stern at the same time, and Aeslin took a long drink to hide her eye roll.

“To each their own, I suppose; I’ll find a better one for you, _lítill pirrandi ein._ ”

“Ooo,” she replied, twirling a cherry stem in her mouth. “That one suits me just fine.”

“Yes,” Loki told her with a quirk of his lip. “It really does.”

“By which I mean,” she went on, placing the tongue-tied cherry stem delicately on her napkin as she raked him with her eyes, “that I have no idea what it means, but maybe you can tell me later.”

A deliberately vacant grin. “That sounds like an excellent idea.” He turned back to Aeslin. “Keys?”

“You’re taking Parker?” she asked in return, and he nodded.

“I figure we need at least one person who knows what they’re doing.”

“Been drinking?”

“No,” he replied simply. “I’m holding out for the good stuff.”

She smirked a little. “They’re in the usual spot. Bring it back in one piece.”

A returning grin. “If you insist.”

***

Aeslin gently patted Erik’s back as he sat between her and Bruce, dutifully ignoring the lecture Jane had been giving Thor since the second they’d entered the ballroom. Darcy seemed torn between supporting Jane, watching Thor’s bemused expression and staring openly at Loki, who sat next to Parker with his tie loosened, top two buttons undone and a massive grin on his face.

“Never again,” muttered Selvig, taking a long pull from his mug as he glared at the pair of men across the table. “ _Never_ again. I’ll take a cab. A train. A rampaging water buffalo. Hell, maybe I’ll just strap myself to a damn _nuke_ and save myself the trouble.”

“Check with Tony,” replied Loki without a trace of remorse. “I think he’ll tell you it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. It’s _also_ probably illegal, at least in most states, whereas everything _I_ did was very _much_ so.”

“Says you,” came Erik’s reply around another drink.

“Says the _book_. Admit it, old man. You’re just getting soft."

A helpless chuckle. “You’re lucky that cop didn’t give you a ticket.”

“Silvertongue,” Loki drawled with a lazy smile, well aware of how fast Darcy’s ears perked up, “was a nickname I _earned_ , thank you. Luck had _nothing_ to do with it.”

Parker nodded sagely in agreement. “Poor guy never had a chance.”

Erik surveyed the younger man critically. “Are you sure about that?”

In response, Parker grinned. “You’ve never played poker with him, have you?”

***

_The night ebbs on, gentle as the moonrise. The conference attendees offer thanks and make their way to cabs and shuttles, trundled off to hotel rooms or red-eye flights, and soon there are only a few locals left. Tony’s other guests have not yet arrived; they will slip in under the cover of darkness and into the guest houses in preparation for the weekend’s festivities. There will be no fanfare, no announcement of a visit from Captain America. It will not be a photo opportunity or a publicity stunt. It will be a family gathering, as it should be. Small, intimate, and with infinite capacity for games, pranks, affection and violence. They are singular creatures, after all._

_She hears a laugh as she makes her way toward the door, loud over the conversations. She is worn, drained by the constant flow of people and freezing in the flowing, dark blue cocktail dress that entranced Loki from the first second he saw it in the store window. In need of warmth and familiarity but unable to think of even sitting in the same room with anyone besides Loki, she hopes that the few minutes it will take her to retrieve a sweatshirt from his room will be enough to brace her for the rest of the evening, now that the crowds are gone._

_She glances over toward the seating area, where Thor is on a couch, Jane in his lap; he trades stories with Erik, Bruce and a few older gentlemen.  Her eyes immediately flick a few seats beyond him, to Loki. He has appropriated a chair at last, and he is chatting with Rhodes, as she knew he would be eventually. His full attention is on the soldier, the drink at his elbow almost completely ignored. Rhodey gestures hugely, clearly in the middle of another heroic anecdote._

_-”Perhaps there will be something new, and perhaps there won’t, but I’ll listen nonetheless.”-_

_She watches Loki for a moment, lounging in his chair with his chin in his hand and a smile on his face. The thought comes quietly, as though it has been there all along, and she smiles as she slips into the now-quiet hallway leading toward Loki’s rooms and to the soft grey hoodie he always brings along because he knows it’s her favorite one to steal._

Odin, you fool, _she thinks_. You chose the wrong son.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to the transcendent LokiSpeaks for seven thousand beta reads. All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Title from the song by Panic! At The Disco.
> 
> Feedback greatly appreciated. Love you all! :)
> 
> (lítill pirrandi ein: Icelandic for "small, annoying one.")


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